Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Bidding 2013 farewell.

Dear 2013,
My go-to look for 2013. Acne and all.
You were a real doozy, you know that? I'm not even going to sugarcoat it because you didn't sugarcoat any experience that you threw my way. In fact, I'm rather suspicious that your whole goal wasn't to try and break my spirit. (Spoiler alert: you didn't.)

Days spent with my Munich Munchkins were full of Love.
January brought with it snow. Lots and lots of snow. And then a handsome Frenchman whose presence hit me like a hurricane. And whose damage after it ran its course left considerable damage. But during the whirlwind of a romance I had setup camp on cloud nine. Nearly breaking ground on a foundation. (Seriously, the concrete was ordered, ready to lay.)

I'll truly never forget this Karnival. Holding hands and running around this day was perfect.
February was nearly perfect. In hindsight, much better for other reasons than noticed at the time.

This day was a milestone. Unknown at the time.
March. March was a real mess. Most spent in tears. Crippling sadness spent in bed, a million miles from home.

My mom came to visit!
But April rolled around and somehow, little by little, I was able to pull myself together.

I visited my friends + family in Northern Germany and it was perfect.
And snuggled my nieces and nephews.
May and June were spent coddling my tender heart back home.

Koenigsee with new dear friends.
July was an absolute shit show. In the greatest of ways. So many friends were made. An incredible amount of adventures were had. Even though it brought with the theft of my cell phone and a chipped tooth, it was a monumental month for the year. My whole energy shifted, a new mood settled in the air, and being independent felt incredible.

I had both the world's greatest roommates, and the world's greatest balcony. Le sigh.
August came with one of the most devastating blows in regards to dreams go. But I learned that a career does not define you, and your dreams are not set in stone. Everything is perpetually changing. And so are God's plans for us.

Too many beers were drunken with new friends from all over the world. (Danes above.)
September was absolutely perfect. After coming to terms with what the rest of the year held (moving back to the States) and taking time to relish in my new friendships, the unknown became less scary to me. I met it halfway, grabbed its hand and said "Alright then, let's go!"

I bid Munich farewell in fashion.
October threw me for a loop, with many perks, as well as many nights of tears. But I survived. We always do.

And a few school programs to attend.
November was riddled with anxiety, more so than usual, and I had to come to terms with it. Taking things hour by hour is sometimes how you get by. And it saved me in so many ways.

Never enough laughs with friends.
December. Oh, December. You're always a box of surprises. You weren't terrible. You weren't great though by any means. You have this way of magnifying the hurt while everything around you glows with hope, quite literally. 

Babies make Christmas so much more fun.

2013, we made it. You tried your best to keep me down, but here I am. Ready and feisty as ever to jump into 2014 with nothing but hope.

You've made your presence known. That things can change in an instant and the world owes you nothing. You've made lessons hard, and tests harder. But you're done here.

But before we bid adieu, there's one last thing:

Thank you. For the times of utter bliss, the times of adventure, and, even the times you walked right over me while I was down. I got up. And now I'm stronger, smarter, and ready for whatever 2014 throws my way.

And you know what, it's going to be so good. Everything that brought me here will be worth it. Every single sadness.

Love ya, but I won't miss ya,
see this .gif.


Breathe, my friend. You are not old, you are young. You are not a mess, you are normal. Extraordinary, perhaps. In the blink of an eye your life will change. And it will continue to change for decades to come. Enjoy it, embrace it… be grateful for the ride. You are not old, you are young. And faith will get you everywhere. Just you wait. — Abby Larson

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Sunday, December 29, 2013

{Quote of the Week.}

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Tuesday, December 17, 2013

{Quote of the Week.}

“Everyone who terrifies you is sixty-five percent water. And everyone you love is made of stardust, and I know sometimes you cannot even breathe deeply, and the night sky is no home, and you have cried yourself to sleep enough times that you are down to your last two percent, but nothing is infinite, not even loss. You are made of the sea and the stars, and one day you are going to find yourself again.” -Finn Butler
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Monday, December 9, 2013

{Quote of the Week.}

"Advent is about waiting, anticipating, yearning. Advent is the question, the pleading, and Christmas is the answer to that question, the response to the howl. There are moments in this season when I don't feel a lot like Christmas, but I do feel like Advent." -Shauna Niequist

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Saturday, December 7, 2013


and you can say, oh darling,
       that you don't feel that way;

but as long as you're walking and breathing

                                                                           your actions don't match what you say.

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Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Quotes for this particular season of my life. || December 2013.

“Most of us are so enthralled with the scary tigers in our minds—our stories about loneliness, rejection, grief, worthlessness—that we don’t realize they are in the past. They can’t hurt us anymore. 
We are protecting ourselves from losses that have already happened. 
It’s possible to come back. To see the life we have now. To take in the its goodness. Our goodness.”
— Geneen Roth
“Compassion hurts. When you feel connected to everything, you also feel responsible for everything. And you cannot turn away. Your destiny is bound with the destinies of others. You must either learn to carry the universe or be crushed by it. You must grow strong enough to love the world, yet empty enough to sit down at the same table with its worst horrors.”
— Andrew Boyd
I scraped away at the frost of my past and saw the clarity of my future through the panes of my heart, and I saw you there, standing with such beauty; I will never forget the day that I learned to love again.
— T.B. LaBerge
What are the chances you’d ever meet someone like that? he wondered. Someone you could love forever, someone who would forever love you back? And what did you do when that person was born half a world away? The math seemed impossible.
— Rainbow Rowell
“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you're going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.”
― C. JoyBell C.
“The grace of God means something like: Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you.”
― Frederick Buechner
“I want to get more comfortable being uncomfortable. I want to get more confident being uncertain. I don’t want to shrink back just because something isn’t easy. I want to push back, and make more room in the area between I can’t and I can.”
— Kristin Armstrong
“The best kind of people are the ones that come into your life, and make you see the sun where you once saw clouds. The people that believe in you so much, you start to believe in you too. The people that love you, simply for being you. The once in a lifetime kind of people.”
— Unknown
“I am happy to report that in the war between reality and romance, reality is not the stronger.”
― John Steinbeck
“I just want to be me—I just want to be useful and… content. I want to stop wondering if I’ll ever feel whole and just be whole. I want to have a purpose, one that I can look at without feeling like I’m less than I was.”
— Eilis O’Neal
I want you to be happy. I want you to laugh a lot. I don’t know what exactly I’ll be able to do for you, but I’ll always be by your side.
— Unknown



P.S. I read and cherish ever single one of your comments. In case you thought I didn't; I do. And I am so thankful for them; for you.
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Monday, December 2, 2013

{Quote of the Week.}

A serious girl, when she finds someone who calms her spirit and quiets her busy thoughts, will love you so fiercely, it will defy even her own logic and reasoning.- Unknown.

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