I have always wanted to live in Germany. Since I was nine or ten. I knew then I wanted to learn German because my dad told me he had studied that in high school, so naturally I wanted to, too.
I made a vase in ceramic class in high school and thought about where I would place it in my apartment in Germany some day. My thoughts raced about what it would be like and how my life would be. Meanwhile my hands worked naturally, effortlessly, as my thoughts consumed my mind.
I doubted my ability to move abroad back then. I secretly told myself it probably wouldn't work out. I was way too scared.
In university I thought a bit about going abroad but was so in love with my friends and courses that just the thought of us ever parting would make my heart hurt.
Then I decided to au pair. Got on a plane. Moved in with a crazy family. Moved out. Moved in with a brilliant family. Came home. Ached to come back. Got offered a rare job opportunity. Almost five months later here I am.
Here I am sitting in my own apartment--in Germany. Meeting friends all the time. Exploring it all as much as I can.
Never would I have thought this would actually work out.
But high school self--here I am.
Here I am and this, it is everything you were hoping for while kneading that small vase into life. (Better than you imagined, even.)
So now, when I'm consumed in worries and fears about what's next, I'll try and remember that--as cheesy as it seems--your dreams can come true. And I'm darn thankful I jumped in head first, because I can't imagine myself anywhere else than right where I am.
I won't give up on my other hopes either, because I'm pretttttttty confident those are going to manifest themselves at some point, too.
The hardest part? Having patience and Faith, but day by day, I'm getting better with both.
P.S. that vase is still sitting at home, but I'll get it here soon.
“You must be the person you have never had the courage to be.
Gradually, you will discover that you are that person,
but until you can see this clearly, you must pretend and invent”
-Paulo Coelho, Eleven Minutes