Friday, December 21, 2012

Healing heartbreak.

[Munich. December 21, 2012.]

This isn't what I expected--but when, really, is anything the way we expect it to be?--it's been possibly one of the most frustrating, confusing, lonely, invigorating, edge-of-the-seat exciting times of my life.

It's been... hard. 

I didn't expect to fall so hard, so fast. I didn't expect to be crushed harder than ever before. I didn't expect to feel so lost among crowds of other people's families, lovers, friends. I didn't expect it to be December and be among nothing of the sort.

But I am. And it's tough. Yet, I can't help but think this will pass. This lonely chapter of my life will be something I simply look back on and sigh heavily while thoughts of "how did I get through that" go through my head.

Most of all, I can't wait until I'm able to say, "I'd do it all again, if was meant to bring me to you."

And today, after a stunning man locked eyes with me on the subway causing butterflies in my stomach to re-emerge from their frozen cocoon, I breathed a heavy sigh of relief.

It was back.

My heart is healing, becoming even more prepared to love when the time is right--with the one that's right.

Yes, it's healing.



"She believed a great happiness awaited her somewhere, and for this reason she remained calm as the days flew by."-Gyula Krudy
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13 comments:

  1. I just want to give you a big hug after reading that post. Stay strong, girl :)

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  2. Sending love your way! You will get through this and be better and stronger for it. :)

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  3. You are amazing, Anna. I empathize deeply with you - we both find ourselves in similar situations this holiday season. Today, instead of feeling sad for myself - I am sending thoughts of love and happiness your way.

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  4. You brave, wonderful woman. Big hugs to you!

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  5. stay strong! i know exactly where you are coming from... healing heartbreak is such a terrible but necessary part of life. you'll come out stronger in the end. xo

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  6. This was amazing. You'll find the right one, I know you will. And he will be a suave foreign man with a beautiful accent. ;)

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  7. in the same boat Anna dear and let me just say THIS SUCKS but we will be okay and we are in God's hands. so just know all the way in MS at Christmas time I'm in this with you :) Chelsea

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  8. This is beautiful! I'm glad your heart is healing, but I'm sorry for the hard times you have had to go through. I know just how you feel, and it is hard. You are a great person and deserve someone just as amazing!

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  10. for some reason, you always find the right words. im so sorry you have been feeling so sad but happy you are beginning to heal. always here !! xxxx

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  11. sending you all the love, literally all the love. love you sweet, smart, lovely lady! heart-happy times are coming your way, i know it. xo

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