Friday, June 29, 2012

It may feel like it's breaking, but really your heart's reawakening.

[Germany June 2011. Leon en route to the beach. ]

Every now & then, I am struck by an immense longing for last summer and fall. It's as though I've swallowed a stone and all of a it finally dropsquickly and suddenly—to the pit of my stomach. Today it happened while I was driving home from a friend's house and this song came on the radio.

It's the song my host mom would often play in the living room while we worked around the house. I closed my eyes and could remember those moments vividly. 

I am always missing my German family terribly. Not a day goes by I don't wish I could read Leo Lausemaus to Leon and chat curiously with him in our German-English hybrid only we could understand. I miss talking to Niklas and Gina while we ate lunch and hearing all about their day at school. And of course, I miss my host parents beyond belief. What I wouldn't give to spend another evening after dinner confiding in my host mom and joking with my host dad.

Now I tell people now that I've created an eternal dilemma: No matter where I am in the world visiting family, I'll miss my family on the other side.

But I'm beginning to learn how to cope with the distance, and remind myself that I will see them soon.

Very soon, I hope.
Le sigh.

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