Friday, December 30, 2011

Happy New Year, Loves!

Cheers! Prost! Salut! 
2012 might just be the best yet, though 2011 will be one for the record books.
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2011 at a glance.

we were bogged down by many a blizzards.
big pups & break ups were heavy on my mind.
(after a few minor bumps in the road, i found my new home.)
i got settled in Germany & flew back home for a quick jaunt 
i went on the trip of a lifetime to the 
Mediterranean with my wonderful host family i au paired for.
from croatia to greece. italy to turkey. it was a dream come true.
i met some german friends & 
lounged by the baltic sea after work most days.
i began to feel like kiel was our city 
& i got bangs & enrolled in a new university.
i went to copenhagen, & of course, fell in love with it.
i bought some rad red pants that i love & 
welcomed flat nathan to germany.
i wrote a lot about being unsure. i wrote about my grandma allen
i became uncharacteristically calm about the whereabouts of my future mister
(& our future.)
 i discovered an awesome trick. made a big decision
(big decisions were the theme of 2011.) & moved back home with


“I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting not doing what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I’d just been myself.”-Brittany Renee
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Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Christmas (back) in Kansas City.

 i hope your holidays were merry & bright.
{Christmas night. 2011.}

if you've ever been apart of an Allen family Christmas, you'll understand my delayed posting. 
it is the most exciting, laughter-filled, stuffed to the brim with grub, zillions of tales exchanged, trivia challenge-jam packed, fun experience you will ever have.

start this three day celebration right after a 30+ hour day of travel & jet lag? yep, you can guarantee you'll be a bit zonked for a few days.

so if i fall a bit behind on my posts, i apologize. but my bed awaits & my abs are resting from all that laughter.

p.s. my sister is way better at this keeping up business. you can see all of our shenanigans at her blog. ;)
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{Quote of the Week.}

{via: note to self.}
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Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Like I'm home.


Home by Ellie Goulding on Grooveshark

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Goodbye, sweet Deutschland.

{via: tumblr.}

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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Words; simple seeds for the soul.

{12.20.2011the day before i bid farewell to my forever love, deutschland.}

the words i've been blessed with the past few days are forever tucked in my heart.
words people are telling me before i leave their sweet home, before returning to mine.

these words, they're so genuinely meant for my heart, my mind, my life.
these are words spoken for my ears, these are words that i am writing down in my diary right this moment, slipping away in my jewelry box to keep forever-- packing away into my heart. 

words that i will return to when i'm feeling lost, unsure, exhausted with the chaos life sometimes throws our way. 

i can't really transcribe these treasured words at the moment. for now, i let them rest gently on my heart, i let them seep in, plant their seeds, and i'll nurture them to grow, grow, grow.

but these words, i had to tell you about.
because if there was ever anything i needed to hear before i bid this country farewell,
it's these words.


and for these words, these sweet souls who speak them to me, i am thankful. i am entirely swollen with gratitude.

This Is My Song by Mindy Gledhill on Grooveshark

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Monday, December 19, 2011

remember it always.

{via: winter.}

People should not be taken for granted — not the ones who raised you, not the ones who ground you, not the ones who love you. Not the stranger who chased you for a half-block to tell you you’ve dropped something, not the one who holds the door for you, not the one who asks you if you’re feeling okay or the one who asks you to dance. Their actions are not inconsequential; they are what it means to be human, a state so common that it’s rather easy to forget how extraordinary it can be. Don’t. Remember it always, remember how bland and unsatisfactory and meaningless life would be without humanity.
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{Quote of the Week.}


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Sunday, December 18, 2011

snowflakes and life changes.

[deustchland 2011.]


sometimes i feel like a snowflake bustling around in the wind.
never sure of where i'll land.  


one minute on the steady path with the wind, ready to set my toes gently on the destination in line of vision.  


but of course, one swift blow of the breeze and my direction changes completely. 
***
and that's exactly how i found myself where i am today. seven months have come and gone with many adventures in between.

all the while, just as spontaneously as a i decided to up and move across the world, i decided it was time to return home.

it's been a bit of a whirlwind. a bit of a tearful ending. but, it's been all wrapped up in a bundle of a blessing. so yes, i will bid farewell to deutschland wednesday, but i'm ready to go home, give my family a big old hug and snuggle up with this pup in my arms every night, like before.

so this is a tiny update of what's to come in the next few days. goodbyes, packing and traveling quickly back home.

xoxo-


Calm Under the Waves by Maria Mena on Grooveshark

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Friday, December 16, 2011

get your giggles on friday part V.


hello giggles never fails to... well... make me giggle & this series is just one of my very favorites.

happy friday, loves!

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Wednesday, December 14, 2011

this is the kind of confidence i'm working toward.



who's with me?

p.s. this post by meg with laura is all kinds of important.
and i had the honor of posting a special something at a dreamer's daze this week.


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Monday, December 12, 2011

tis the season for a wishlist.

1.Fat Face hand knit sweater, £38 // 2.Kate Spade clear crystal earrings, $48 // 3.Urban Outfitters strap watch, $24 // 4.Women’s: Featured | Free Shipping at L.L.Bean, $69 // 5. J.Crew striped socks, $13// 6. Parisian Chic: A Style Guide | Anthropologie.eu, €24 // 7. Vintage Square Frames - Fashion Eyeglasses | BonLook, $99 // 8. Bobbi Brown Dual-Ended Eye Liner, $24 // 9. F j a e l l r a e v e n - Kånken Mini, €39,95 // 10. PHILOSOPHY Great Skin Is In Gift Set, Dry Skin, £55



Last Christmas (live) by Florence + The Machine on Grooveshark

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{Quote of the Week.}


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Friday, December 9, 2011

get your giggles on friday part IV.


bring on the weekend!
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Thursday, December 8, 2011

your feet & mine.

(via: tumblr.)

dear mister-whoever-you-are-wherever-you-are,
(but someday destined to be by my side.)

i hope you like extra quirky shoes. 
or, at least, don't mind if i like to rock some myself
cause let me tell ya, i love me a pair of sassy sneakers

and i love it even more 
when i get to buy some cheeky footwear
for the love of my life.
(well, i haven't ever done so, but i get giddy just thinking about it!)

love your smitten Schatzi
who writes whole posts dedicated to our shoe compatibility. 
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Monday, December 5, 2011

{Quote of the Week.}

{via: tumblr.} 
“Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it takes brave men and women to win them.” -ralph waldo emerson. 
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Friday, December 2, 2011

how to make your life feel more like a movie.

{germany. fall 2011}
grab your headphones.
find a bike & get peddling.
crank up this jam.

& have a rad weekend.


Us by Regina Spektor on Grooveshark

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Thursday, December 1, 2011

with oil skies & aquarelle rivers.

{Copenhagen. October 2011.} 


Far far, there's this little girl
she was praying for something to happen to her
everyday she writes words and more words
just to spit out the thoughts that keep floating inside
and she's strong when the dreams come cause they
take her, cover her, they are all over
the reality looks far now, but don't go

How can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
how can you stay outside?
there's a beautiful mess inside
oh oh oh oh

Far far, there's this little girl
she was praying for something good to happen to her
from time to time there are colors and shapes
dazzling her eyes, tickling her hands
they invent her a new world with
oil skies and aquarelle rivers
but don't you run away already
please don't go oh oh






Far far by Yael Naim on Grooveshark


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Tuesday, November 29, 2011

you'll know it.


i'm going to keep it real, friends.

new habits november did not turn out so hot. 
i drank plenty of coca cola.
i ran twice.
i free wrote once.

but that's ok. it's the thought that counts. right? or wait. is that pertaining to something entirely different? oh well.

can we take a minute to talk about how fast november went by? ... i mean, that minute we just took lasted longer than november. amiright? (p.s. my new thing is the 'amiright' phrase. cracks me up every time. i'm easily amused.)

additionally, it's december in two days. 

yup. tis the season, folks. 

tis also the season for engagements.
i think every time i log onto facebook i see photos rings popping up everywhere. 
makes my heart swell. 

till you see the boy who once made your heart swell is getting hitched. 

then your heart hurts for a bit.

but not too much.

but enough to make you antsy.

just when you don't know anymore, you're reminded.
and you, too, have no doubts. none at all.

Things We Don't Need Anymore by Jenny Owen Youngs on Grooveshark

-images via rules of thirds.

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Monday, November 28, 2011

{Quote of the Week.}

Let yourself fall open to Advent, to anticipation, to the belief that what is empty will be filled, what is broken will be repaired, and what is lost can always be found, no matter how many times it's been lost.           -shauna niequist. 
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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

a bushel of blessings.

{image one, image two.}
my life is a bushel of blessings.
that is an understatement.
but it is the best i can do with mere words.

from my family of beautiful, genuine, brilliant people
to my friends of equally talented, genuine, lovely souls. 

the pooches i love
to the silly, blessed coincidences life throws my way.

the people who take time to read this (YOU)
the gentle spirits who encourage me daily (YOU)

the adventures
the moments of confusion

i am thankful
for it all.



Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing by Sufjan Stevens on Grooveshark

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Monday, November 21, 2011

{Quote of the Week.}

"She knew, of course, that there was something about her that was different. But it was more like a friendly spirit than like anything that was a part of herself. She brought everything to it, and it answered her; happiness consisted of that backward and forward movement of herself. The something came and went, she never knew how. Sometimes she hunted for it and could not find it; again, she lifted her eyes from a book, or stepped out-of-doors, or wakened in the morning, and it was there-under her cheek, it usually seemed to be, or over her breast-a kind of warm sureness. And when it was there, everything was more interesting and beautiful, even people."-Willa Cather (Song of the Lark)
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Friday, November 18, 2011

and I promise you I'm doing the best I can.

{deutschland, august 2011.}

in time a lot happens.
whether or not you wish it to.

a lot happens.

sometimes it takes really big steps in life
to make you grow a backbone.

no matter where in the world you live
you will meet fake people,
and you will meet genuine people.

distance, time zones, languages...

they really don't mean much.

no matter what lies between us.

we are all alike.

but it's a bit hard to realize these things when speaking in a different language.
you're too worried about word order and past participles to notice traces of sincerity in a voice.

the major difference about being away from home

 is that when you are burned by someone,
 it burns twenty times more than when you are home. 

but of course,
inversely, 

the moments of pure bliss you experience 
in a strange, unfamiliar place, feeling unbelievably vulnerable,

it's beautiful.

you also, learn the difference between being unhappy and being homesick.
because they are infinitely different.

being homesick simply means you miss the smells, sounds, tastes, sites and feel of a place so much
you forget to experience the new sounds, smells, tastes, sights, and feeling of everything around you right then.

being homesick does not mean you are not happy.
it simply means you are not aware, that's all.
but in time, my friend.

in time.

sixth months, for instance.

With Arms Outstretched by Rilo Kiley on Grooveshark

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Thursday, November 17, 2011

i already do.


Listen little grey book
Listen, I don’t know where you are.
But I haven’t met you yet.
I miss you. 
Sometimes, I just wonder what you’re doing at this exact moment.
Where are you?
I’m sorry that I thought you were someone else.
You deserve my love the most.
I was blinded a bit. 
Have I ever passed by you?
Maybe I have. Maybe I haven’t.
Maybe I already know you,
but haven’t paid enough attention to. 
I wonder if you think about me
Although you possibly haven’t met me either yet,
I already love you. 
I do.
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Monday, November 14, 2011

{Quote of the Week.}

Your soul knows the geography of your destiny. Your soul alone has the map of your future, therefore you can trust this indirect, oblique side of yourself. If you do, it will take you where you need to go, but more important it will teach you a kindness of rhythm in your journey."
 -John O’Donohue
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Friday, November 11, 2011

To Our Veterans.

Sometimes the girl stands with arms around the boy’s waist, hands tightly clasped behind. Another fits her head into the curve of his cheek while tears fall onto his coat. Now and then the boy will take her face between his hands and speak reassuringly. Or, if the wait is long they may just stand quietly, not saying anything. The common denominator of all these goodbyes is sadness and tenderness, the complete oblivion for the moment to anything but their own individual heartaches. -Life, February 14, 1944
with love & gratitude, we thank you.
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Thursday, November 10, 2011

three years of missing you.

[grandma & grandpa allen with the bunch, circa december 1991.(that's me with the finger on my teeth...like that hair, do ya?!)

“She will die over and over again for the rest of my life. Grief is forever. It doesn't go away; it becomes part of you, step for step, breath for breath. I will never stop grieving because I will never stop loving. That's just how it is. Grief and love are conjoined, you don't get one without the other. All I can do is love her, and love the world, emulate her by living with daring and spirit and joy.” 
-jandy nelson-


three years ago we lost our beloved grandma allen.
our lives have never been the same since that somber day.
but she lives on.


oh how her love lives on.


i love you grandma,
your annie


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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

“It’s okay to be unsure. But praise, praise, praise.”

today at the train station i happened upon the latest issue of fraulein magazine. miranda july graced its cover & i was reminded of the beauty in her words i once read. words that helped me heal during a rough patch. it was a comforting reminder from life that it's all about ebbs & flows. but if you look for beauty, you'll find it.

even at the train station at one o'clock in the afternoon on a mundane wednesday.



Life is so ridiculously gorgeous, strange, heartbreaking, horrific, etc., that we are compelled to describe it to ourselves, but we can’t! We cannot do it! And so we make art. 
“I laughed and said, Life is easy. What I meant was, life is easy with you here, and when you leave, it will be hard again.” 
-miranda july
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Tuesday, November 8, 2011

the different kinds of "overwhelmed."

[germany. 11.6.2011]

sometimes i get a bit overwhelmed.

there are moments when i log-on facebook to see another high school peer has wed and my heart struggles between feelings of happiness for them and longings for me.

there are times when i feel really out of shape as i push my bike up the hill that taunts me and i get really grumpy with myself.

there are days when i hate my hair and want to cut it all off and give up on trying to perfect my beloved heidi braid crush.

sometime i get a bit overwhelmed.

there are moments i get teary-eyed just reading about the millions of beautiful love stories and knowing i will someday have my very own.

there are times when i ride my bike and i am so blessed to have legs willing to turn the peddles and hair for the wind to blow through.

there are days when i am overwhelmed by joy.

and i'll tell you what, i'm working on making the moments of joy overwhelm the moments of disappointment.

ain't it so overwhelmingly simple sometimes, this whole perspective thing?
i sure think so. but boy, oh boy, how i do forget, sometimes.




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Monday, November 7, 2011

{Quote of the Week.}


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Friday, November 4, 2011

how it sometimes feels.

The hardest period in life is one’s 20s. It’s a shame because you’re your most gorgeous and you’re physically in peak condition. But it’s actually when you’re most insecure and full of self-doubt. When you don’t know what’s going to happen, it’s frightening.-Helen Mirren
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Wednesday, November 2, 2011

upon request.

{painting by lael weyenberg.}

i've answered a few unclear things about my au pair journey & where my studies stand over on my blog Anna Im Ausland's about page.

please, take a looksie if you're curious.
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for happiness.


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