Wednesday, November 10, 2010

“And if strength was born from heartbreak...

 then mountains I could move."

 [grandma Allen & me circa 1989.]
dearest grandma Allen,
i think of you everyday. i miss you everyday. i send my Love to you everyday. 
but you already know that, right?  because most days, i know that you are checking in on me... watching over us one by one.  last week i caught a whiff of your perfume... it took me back to every hug i have ever given you & they replayed in my head all at once.  i closed my eyes & felt so loved.

i always see you in my dreams.  you always let me know that you are ok & that you love me.  they are the best dreams, vivid & so real.  i think it's our way of communicating.

i try & make you proud, grandma.  i think you would be.  i have started standing up for myself, grandma.  sometimes i feel like you & Jesus are high-fiving whenever i stick up for what i believe in & not being a doormat.  you are such an inspiration, grandma. you were such a smart, sassy, confident woman & your life was focused on Love. your Love has impacted our lives more than you could ever imagine.  our family is truly built on a foundation of Love, one you laid for us.

we miss you like crazy, but we send Love to you & one another every single day.
  
nothing is the same since the day you had to leave. all of our hearts feel pangs of missing you each day- but our hearts are filled with your Love & the wonderful memories you left with us.
its hard without you, grandma. but, i know you are here.
you would have Loved Christopher's wedding.  it was just like a good ole fashioned Allen wedding.  eating, dancing, Loving the night away.

you'd be thrilled, grandma, we are all loving & living. because we know we will see you again & it will be better than any Allen event in the past...(though that is totally hard to believe.) ; )

I miss & Love you so much,
your Annie.
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8 comments:

  1. this is so so so sweet. much love to you, honey. <3

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  2. Aw, this was so precious. She was lucky to have you in her life :)

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  3. You are just the sweetest. No doubt you are the granddaughter of your grandma from the description you wrote. *hugs*

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  4. This post gave me goose bumps it is so touching and sweet. It helps tremendously to talk to our loved ones that have passed on doesn't it? Thanks so much!

    Dandy

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  5. Lovely....
    Sounds like you miss your Grandma as much as I miss mine. I am certain she is smiling wherever she is because she gets to watch the beautiful way in which you live your life and help spread happiness to people like me... who you don't even know. You have an amazing heart... she must be proud!

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  6. i absolutely loved this post, anna! i, too, miss my oma so very much... but i know she is smiling down on us from time to time. the last time i went to visit my opa and put flowers at her grave, the most beautiful thing happened... the gloomy clouds parted the moment we put the flowers down for her and the sun started shining the brightest it had all week.

    much love and many hugs to you and your family.
    -Pia

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